John Lee came up with six love styles that most people follow in some way in the late 70s and early 80s. Looking at them and studying them causes some legitimate self-realization on the way that one acts while in love.
Eros- Heavily involves the passionate love discussed in a previous blog. Based on romance and physical attraction, the eros style enjoys commitment to their partner and, when translated literally, means "Love of Beauty". Eros lovers tend to choose there lovers through intuition and call them by pet names like "baby" and "sweetie". This love style is known to believe heavily in "love at first sight"and is seen by other love styles as a hopeless romantic who's stuck in a fantasy of the perfect lover. The hormones released in the brains of the eros cause a very intense bond between them and their partner that decays quickly. Literature that includes eros romance are Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and Titanic.
Ludus- A more nonchalant love style, ludus wants to have as much fun as possible. They do this through playing the field, sometimes having multiple partners at once. The ludus sees relationships and sex as a conquest of another person, often not showing their feelings to their partner to gain an advantage. This love style recovers quickly from break-ups, and sees marriage as a commitment trap. Despite this, the ludus often thinks that their partner having children is attractive seeing it as a sign of fertility in women and masculinity in men. In extreme cases, the ludus love style can become extremely jealous of their partner, or even become addicted to sex.
Storge- A love for family. This type of love is often felt between siblings, parents, cousins, and spouses. This type has a strong need for loyalty to the family, and the responsibilities that go along with upholding that loyalty. The storge love style can develop through marriage or gradually from a close friendship.
Pragma- This is a very logical style of love. A pragma wants their partner to be as practical and beneficial to them as possible. The pragma wants their partner to be able to provide for them; financial stability, child care, home service, ect. This should not be seen as a negative style of love, because the practicality of the pragma's decision can make the relationship last longer. This style is often seen in developing countries, where surviving and marriage go hand in hand.
Manic- The manic lover often puts their relationship and their partner in higher regard than themselves. They will feel as though they need their partner, and are more inclined to find a partner by chance than to find them by looking for desirable traits like the pragma. The manic is in danger of seeing their partner as aloof and uninterested when they don't return the extreme feelings that the manic conveys. This type of love can also result in obsession and possessiveness of the manic's partner, as displayed by John Hinckley Jr. Hinckley attempted to assassinate former U.S. president Ronald Reagan in 1981 in attempt to impress actress Jodie Foster. He was not convicted by reason of insanity.
Agape- The altruistic lover. The agape love style wants to care for their partner, and enjoys giving in a relationship more than receiving and will stay faithful to their partner if for no other reason than to save their partner from pain. Post break-up, the agape lover will often patiently wait for their partner to come back to them. Their love is unconditional, and because of this the agape will often neglect their individual needs. Additionally, the actions of the agape can make their partner feel inadequate and guilty because they can't return their selfless acts to the agape. The agape are also easily taken advantage of, because they will give their entire being to their partner to make them happy.
Putting love into a box is not the intention of this project. However, seeing the way that one acts in association with other people can always assist in learning about the way their mind works.
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